On-line Masculinities

I visited three different sites that focus on men and men's issues. The first site I visited was askmen.com. Askmen.com is a site that, imho, sticks to a more traditional mind frame of who men are and what men want--what it means to be a man. The editors of the site say that their mission is to

"To offer men candid advice, that is useful, practical and entertaining. AskMen.com address issues regarding dating, women, fashion, money, fitness, and entertainment. Offering advice that is too complicated or unrealistic does not serve any viable purpose, therefore it deals with topics that can be incorporated into men's daily lives...with new articles that focus on matters that men deem relevant and practical."

Fashion is one of the topics that the site deals with that may not quite fit into the what is consider traditional masculinity. Their focus on uncomplicated, practical advice is quite interesting. It assumes that men want straightforward, uself answers to their questions. FMH.com is much of the same, if not even more narrow. FMH.com has fewer features than askmen.com, but the features they do have are very much set in the ideas of tradition masculintiy. On this site, there is also a focus on women and sex. There is even a poll to rank the one hundred sexiest women. Most everything else on the site has to do with entertainment--jokes, funny but true stories, movies, music and video games. Pretty much this site pictures the mind of man like this: sex and entertainment. Or why not just boil it down to entertainment? And on both sites, the ads are just as telling about how they view masculinity: the ads are generally for sites or services that hook men up with women.

On the other hand, menstuff.org appears to take a broader and more open approach to traditional masculinity. Instead of focusing on sex and entertainment, menstuff.org has several articles that explore masculinity in greater depth: fathering, sexuality (both hetero- and homosexuality), children, relationships, sex, health, current events or issues that affect men, home ec, and spirituality. This site appears to attempt to look at men as whole people, who are capable of a wide range of emotions, feelings, and interests, rather than within the strict constructs that society has traditionally placed men. This site invites and encourages men to explore who they are as human beings and not just the strong, silent protector that many feel they must be.

The author who wrote an article exploring masculinity on-line and featured the aforementioned web sites claims that the expanded masculinities on these cyberspaces lead"naturally, to uncertainty and even anxiety, but eventually to a greater level of self-awareness and personal freedom" (78).

First of all, I would question his claim that these sites or men sites in general have have expanded views of masculinity. The first two sites I looked like had little to no expanded notions of masculinity. If anything, these sites encourage men to embrace the social norms that have been constructed them. In fact it teaches that these norms are natural and to be idealized. Instead of exploring what it means to be human, men are expected to simply grow in their masculinity (which is a part of who men are, but one's sex is just a part of the whole). I would not say that these sites lead to greater personal awareness. Men who feel very strongly about traditional gender roles would find these sites an affirmation of his personal beliefs about masculinity.

Now, for the man who is questioning his masculinity and exploring who he is and how his sex factors into that might be made uncertain and even experience angst by looking at these sites. Especially if a man is uncertain about how "manly" he is, these sites would simply confirm his fears--that he is less of man, because he fails to comfortably fit into these constructions. However, a site such as menstuff.org would encourage such a male to explore what it means to be man. For the man who is very gungho about men fulfilling their manly obligations would most likely scoff at such a site. Those who are looking trying to integrate who they are, or at least reconcile different parts of the person, their gender and some other "side", might find useful information, insight, or thought-provoking ideas on a site like menstuff.com.

Because we are experiencing a shift in societal values, not exclusive to gender roles and identities, many people do feel uncertainty and angst. As the societal view of masculinity fluctuates and changes, many men will feel like they are being pulled in many different directions. There will be the traditional view of men and contemporary ideas that will try to show and explain to him who he is as a man. The traditional role and obligations of men is no longer secure. What direction masculinity will go in only time will tell. Hopefully the future will lead to a more integrated look at who men are as human beings, and not simply replace the current tradition views with other damaging constructs of masculinity.